There were plenty of strange and bizarre music videos to come from the 80's that were popular in Australia, this list will rank these videos based on how big they were here, with the only criteria being how bizarre I find the imagery to be.
I wish I could talk more about the song itself as it is the biggest hit of Robert Palmer's career in Australia, but I can help but focus on the video because it really does seem like it was made to be the worst nightmare of every character in the Cheers/Frasier universe. How he found so many women who resembled Lillith Crane to feature in this video is beyond me, but it makes for a highly entertaining viewing experience.
Well, this is a video where you can tell the girls are clearly high off their faces, seriously the facial expressions they make throughout its runtime is enough to give one nightmare. There are also the cheap costumes and sets they use to bring to life the lyrics used throughout the song.
Normally I wouldn't include a music video to a song which is mainly comprised of clips of the film the song is meant to be soundtracking, however in this case I have to make an exception as this contains scenes of the stars of Jewel of the Nile (Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas and Danny Devito) singing along with Billy Ocean before Danny whips out a saxophone to perform the sax solo with Billy.
A word of advice, if you're going to make a song that's destined to be played in every workout routine for the rest of time, don't have its music video depict a woman as conventionally beautiful as Olivia Newton John bullying people who are making a genuine effort to better themselves like this video does, it's not funny and the definition of offensive.
This is here mainly for how bad the animation is for the cartoon rabbit throughout the video, I mean it's less bizarre than many entries on this list, but a bit of professionalism would've helped this stand out more.
I know this song has an underlining theme of legalising marijuana in the UK, however considering that it's little kids of colour pushing forward this agenda, the fact that they were able to film this outside of Big ben as well as a courtroom resembling the chambers of House of parliament make you wonder how this ever made it to air when it did.
You know if the girls had of fully committed to the walking like an Egyptian gimmick they sprinkle throughout this video, it might have escaped this list as I feel that it doesn't happen nearly enough to justify the novelty of the track that this video accompanies.
OK time to look at what exactly is wrong with this video, sure the ninjas, cast of Grease and literal bright-eyed children are all random and in the latter's case disturbing, however that's nothing compared to the realisation that Bonnie is playing a headmistress who has sexual fantasies of her pupils. Keep in mind this appears to be set in a boarding school, so it's not even like these young boys would hardly interact with her. All I can say is whoever came up with this concept had some serious issues.
This entry is for the music video released in America as international audiences received a much better video of a young woman viewing concert footage of George performing this song through a nickelodeon. In the American video, we have George in what appears to be a jungle equivalent of Pee Wee's playhouse complete with an obvious stunt double trying desperately to make him look more athletic than he really is.
Does anyone else find it weird that throughout the video, people are pretending to smack each other in the faces as well as bang their hands on the floor whenever the percussion gets going? It's one of the tamer videos on this list but that always did bother me.
Just because I find a video to be weird doesn't mean there isn't any merit to it, take this lead single to FYC's second album for example. The visuals here are beyond wacky and yet they do an excellent job in conveying the chaos that Roland believe his relationship to be, from the clones of himself having a dance off to the guy with a TV for a head to the other two members in drag, the list goes on.
Whoever thought this short film for Lionel Richie's third single to Can't slowdown was a good idea has some serious issues because it depicts a one-sided relationship between Lionel Richie and a student of his with the relationship coming from Lionel's side. Of course, the real WTF moment is when we find out this student is BLIND, and not only that, makes a shockingly accurate bust of Lionel despite never being able to see what he looks like.
Much like the previous entry, I'd advise against looking too deeply into the implications that the lead singer is singing about one of his school students in these lyrics. Thankfully the women in this video are clearly of legal age of this might be up there with "Hello" as one of the most disturbing videos to come out this decade.
OK so I'm going to be going with the original video for this entry given how it was infamously banned back in the day for its blatant depiction of an LGBT club and the ins and outs that goes on in that type of scene. Also, if you're a squeamish person, then I advise not watching this video as at one point we have an overweight man err...... "coming" onto Holly Johnson while he's tied down if you catch my drift.
I know that this song rightfully pioneered the art of animation in a music video, however I have to say that I find the storyline to be highly confusing. Not so much the idea that the girl is pulled into the comic book world but rather why the thugs want to break up the couple and later on try to kill them. I feel like they could've expanded on that rather than having them flirt at that mirror for as long as they did.
Well as awful as those dance moves are, I will say that it does fit with the theme of the song as this does mean that the two men go dancing in the street like the lyrics suggest. What earns this video a spot on the list is the surprisingly good chemistry they have with each other, let's just say neither of them have been able to successfully deny persisting rumours that they were secretly a couple because of this video.
We have another relatively tame video for this list, in fact were it not for the part where the band members come up to Colin Hay's door in the different outfits that they wear then this video likely wouldn't have made it on this list as the rest of it is fairly conventional for an early MTV release.
It looks like progress in the realms of music videos could only be made if these pioneering techniques were set to the wackiest of visuals. Here we have Pat Wilson's only notable hit which has the video jump cut on each note during the chorus throughout the track, although it comes complete with visuals of Pat in a wedding dress, her husband Ross lying on the beach like he's dead and then her dancing in a funeral outfit. Oh, and a teenage Nicole Kidman is also in this video, fresh off the success of her role in BMX bandits.
I'm not even sure what to make of this video, I mean the cheap effects and the rampant jump cutting to simulate magic happening in the video is to be expected given the subject matter of the lyrics. It's that weird floaty thing that keeps coming up in the video that gets to me, what is it even supposed to be?
Well, you know a video is cheaply made when you can see the camera reflecting in a mirror in a scene that's meant to be creating a high budget atmosphere. Speaking of the atmosphere, the concept of the video makes little sense as it appears to be set in a hall of mirrors that the band is trapped in with the lead singer getting serenated by a group of alien girls.
This video just confuses me, why would Paul Simon recruit Chevy Chase of all people to lip synch his song while he himself sits back feeling sorry for himself? What really gets me is during the two instrumental breakdowns, the pair whip out a saxophone each and do a pseudo line dance with each other before sitting back down again.
OK compared to his entry from the start of this list, this video from Robert Palmer is quite tame as it's not like the girls do anything that provocative throughout its runtime. My issue is that with this crazy set up, nothing actually happens in the video as Robert sings the track while they just bop around to it while pretending to play the instruments.
Yep, this video is racist. Granted I'm guessing it was intended to be given how little respect the band had for the target of their ridicule, however like many modern activists, by robbing these people of their dignity and respect, all they're doing is fueling their hatred for western civilisation and thus, justifying their bigotry. Sorry that this wasn't a fun entry, but I call things how I see them.
Oh boy is this a cheap and nasty video, I'm not sure what these guys were going for in this video as it appears that they had done a line of cocaine before shooting began. There are the weird outfits (which admittedly is a given for this decade) the bizarre dancing, whatever the heck happens at the start of the second verse, the list goes on.
OK so does anything listen to this song and think "yes I could work out to this?" If the answer is yes, then feel free to ignore this entry as I'm sure you'll get a good workout from this routine. From everyone else, we have a bunch of kids using toy globes as those balls you find at a gym while Belinda dances around the studio singing her heart out in between these shots.
I know that I'm probably being mean to this video by having it on this list, but I'm sorry there's no getting around just how lame the relationship is on display here. I mean it's bad enough their ripping off Gilligan's island with the premise but add to that the bad acting from Huey and his love interest and you have a recipe for eye rolls.
OK I know that the effects are still impressive even to this day, however can we all agree that confessing your love while half your body is packed in a suitcase is ridiculous? Not helping is the fact that the backup singers are also coming out of suitcases throughout the video, making what should otherwise be a heartfelt ballad about wanting forgiveness in a relationship that much harder to take seriously.
OK I have to ask, why is this video set in what appears to be the dress rehearsals for the world's worst fashion runway? Unless the lyrics in this song are meant for all the (hideously awful in my opinion) dresses she changes into throughout the video, I fail to see how this has anything to do with finding the love of your life and showing your dedication to them.
OK this video isn't on the list due to the patriotism displayed in the video, if this British band wants to be proud of their American heritage them more power to them. No, it's that bizarre editing that makes it on here, specifically the way they use the bluescreen on the models to edit out their heads and torsos to make it seem like only their arms and legs exist, it feels like I'm on drugs whenever I watch this video.
I have a theory that if Harry Potter existed in the real world, then Bellatrix Lestrange would've impersonated Kate Bush in this video to instill fear into us muggles due to how similar she looks to Helena Bonham Carter's portrayal in the theatrical films. That would certainly explain why there's so much Vaseline on the lens in order to make it hard to tell if that really is Kate giving us those death stares.
Well, they don't eat cannibals in the video, however this video does still make the cut for having some of the strangest choreography I've ever seen in a video, that and they really did miss out on the opportunity to fill the scenery with more interesting visuals than a bland island aesthetic.
Given how tightly in control of their tourism they Thailand government is, I'm surprised they allowed Murray Head to film this shockingly brutal depiction of Bangkok knowing that this would be seen by millions of people in the west. However, that's not the only reason why this video is on this list, what exactly is the deal with the sex worker he's playing chess with? Is she a Thai goddess? The lyrics do indicate there's a person of power involved so she might very well be.
I never realised how much David Bowie saw himself as the Tinman from the Wizard of Oz, I guess that explains why he decided to dress up as him and have a bunch of extras fill out the original ensemble for the classic novel likely to commemorate the fortieth anniversary of the Judy Garland adaptation.
I know that it's common knowledge nowadays that George Michael is about as straight as a curly wurley, however he was trying to convince people otherwise back in the day which explains why we have this video. This is infamous for him writing "explore monogamy" on what we can only assume to be his girlfriend at the time, meaning that so long as you're in a monogamous relationship, any form of sex is OK which audiences weren't thrilled with at the time.
You knew this video was going to make the list, the Claymation is garbage and if this is a touching tribute and not a group of session musicians mocking Star trek fans, then it simply isn't coming through here.
Oh Collette, how you didn't get more than the occasional eye roll while shooting this video across Sydney in the late 80's is beyond me. I grew up here and let's just say that the general public has very little patience for the sort of behaviour that she displays throughout the runtime. Also, this came out in 1989, so why does it feel like it was made to be used in one of those teen movies from earlier in the decade?
This one seems a lot tamer than some of the other videos we've looked at so far on this list, however I never understood why there's a montage of people falling from what I believe to be a jump from a trampoline throughout the track. I guess there's lyrics about catching someone when they fall, however there's no footage of the catching but plenty of footage of the falling.
This is a predictable entry for this list, what this song has to do with being set at a medieval festival is beyond me and it appears it was set up by the sloppiest carnival manager to boot. Why is the female member of the group high off her face? How come the little person is wearing a jester's hat? Are these guys telling us that the safety dance is an even easier version of the "YMCA" dance?
Technically this video shouldn't qualify for this list as it delivers what it promises by showing a man daydreaming about being a cowboy and his girlfriend being a cowgirl, however that's such a strange premise for a song that I just had to include it on this list. By the way, it appears his girlfriend doesn't appreciate him daydreaming about her being from the wild west, at least not while he's in the bathtub with a poorly implemented thought bubble floating over his head.
I have two problems with this video, the first is that this is clearly a coming out anthem for Elton despite him still trying to convince his audience that he was straight, this was right before he got married to Renate Blauel after all. The second was that everyone was able to be this open about their queerness during a time where homophobia was at its peak worldwide, I mean nowadays this would just be a bad video but back then it's a miracle none of these people were brutally murdered by the general public.
I know these guys were always more style over substance especially when it came to their music videos, however I can't get over the fact that this video in particular has no direction to it. Why does it start on the moon, where they can breathe without any issues I might add? Is there an elevator that connects it to an underground basement? Why is this basement filled with oriental imagery? The list goes on.
If you suffer from epilepsy or even get motion sickness watching fast past editing, then please don't watch this video as you'll bound to get sick after a few seconds of viewing time. What's truly bizarre is that nothing happens in the video as far as what the band is actually doing, it's just them setting up for a recording session edited in a way that's bound to make anyone watching it sick.
I know that the visuals in this video are touching, after all who doesn't love the sight of Madonna holding onto a young Mer person on shore while their parents are swimming in the ocean? With that said, unless she was trying to get onto the Little mermaid soundtrack, why would she centre the video on her love of Mer people? Also is the little Mer person meant to be the person this song is dedicated to? I guess the song is about how much she cherishes this minor from the ocean.
Man, the video director for this solo debut from James Reyne had no chill with the editing, it's like they were trying to one up Wang Chung's earlier entry on this list when it comes to making epileptics out of its audience. At least there's more going on with the content of the video itself as we have James dancing around what appears to be an abandoned warehouse with a random person welding something.
This is another video that's just cheap and nasty, I get that Martin Plaza isn't an actor, but could they have at least given him some acting lessons and hire a woman who can act to play his partner? Not helping is the cheesy dancing that the band does on the rocks of the eastern Sydney beaches, although I feel that just makes the video that much more loveable to watch.
OK where to start with this mess, maybe it's the terrible acting from everyone involved or perhaps just how over the top it is even for 80's standards, but this is just a video that is near impossible to watch these days without experiencing secondhand embarrassment. I get that people found solace with the visuals, but surely, they deserve better than something that's akin to Revenge of the nerds, rock music edition.
Oh Taco, why did you think that blackface was a good idea for the video of your only hit single? The rest of it is actually a well-made video that's perfect for the scary season, but you ruined it with casual racism as depicted by little children.
Even upon its inception, this was always meant to be used as a road trip theme. So, can someone please explain to me why the brothers felt the need to have the gimmick of their body parts floating around with (admittedly impressive) greenscreen effects? I get they were going for comedy with these visuals; however, I feel a simple montage of them reaching their destination would've sufficed for this video.
OK did Pee Wee Herman rent out his playhouse to these guys for their one and only hit? It would've been wacky enough with the backup dancers dressed as chickens, however the bright colours of the room the band is playing in just makes it that much more juvenile than the track would otherwise have you believe.
I mean, would it have killed the video director to not film this with such an obvious bright backing light? A textbook example of a great song given a terrible video due to the label's lack of faith in the project.
I know that this song has an opulence to it that isn't found in many of the duo's other tracks, however was that really the incentive to make this video as high budget as it was? Why is Annie Lennox singing for what is clearly the amusement of King David Stewart? What's even going on in his court that requires her to sing this song?
OK to the Italian director who shot this video, was it too much to give Sabrina a bra that could actually fit her? Not only is it bizarre watching her dance in a public pool with a bikini that's clearly too small for her, but the fact they included multiple shots of her adjusting it to stop it from falling off was a bit too much for UK censorship which resulted in the videos ban over there.
I know it seems a little reductive to put a video on this list from a band whose name is Madness, however I think they oversold themselves on here by having them attend what appears to be a funeral and having it cut back to the band being their usual wacky selves. It's not the strangest video on this list in terms of its concept, however it's visuals alone more than make it a worthy candidate.
I think this was meant to be the band's equivalent of the Rocky horror show, maybe? Honestly the visuals in this video have no rhyme or reason to it, one minute they're in a medieval setting, the next they're in a prototype of the masquerade scene from Phantom of the opera, and then they're making a homage to the Rocky horror show, makes sense of that what you will.
I know that Madonna had the budget of a ham sandwich when promoting her debut album, however you'd think she could do a better job at making a video than she does on here. Why is this a jazzercise video? The song is about wanting a holiday and she's working out for some reason. Why are the backup dancers more sedate than she is? Why is the sound engineer clearly taking a nap in the sound booth while wearing pajamas? The list goes on.
OK I know that this video is sentimental to many, after all the visuals are touching for the most part as it depicts the message of being grateful for what you have before you lose it forever. However, I can't get over the static faces in the closet, the hilarious aging effect on the actors and just it randomly cutting back to the band at sporadic points of its runtime.
This almost didn't make the cut as what makes it weird happens strictly in the instrumental breakdown, yeah, I'm talking about those two men of colour ripped straight from the 30's dancing at the petrol station. I get they were there to lighten the mood of the song and they're admittedly a ton of fun to watch, however their presence really does muddle an otherwise serious song about how everyone needs to learn to be less selfish in the world.
I know this song really pioneered the technique of stop motion not just in music videos but as a whole, however I have many questions about its content that prevent me from giving it the respect it deserves. What's with the dancing roast chickens in the instrumental breakdown? Is that the sprite from "Tainted love" waving at me at the end of the video? Were the bumper cars really necessary here?
I never would've pegged Billy Ocean to be a Star Wars fan, although someone should've told the video director that Tatooine is a desert planet and thus can't have any beaches on there. They should've also told them about the implications of what was happening with the alien lady the guy was after, or that the sight of having Jawas as backing vocals while worshipping a floating cube was the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Oh wow, were the guys who made this video clearly on drugs, there's the little girl holding up the star, the band members lip synching to the song like they've just gotten out of bed, the whole tackiness of the production values, the list goes on.
I guess the needs of being famous outweighed the needs of being respectful to women in this video, it's not that the women are wrestling as arguably you can sexualise male wrestling for those attracted to the male body, but rather the insistence of them being topless which is why the video was banned on MTV.
Is there a reason why Pete Shelley is in a room with all of this random junk in it? Furthermore, why does the camera jump cut towards each item throughout the video's runtime? I never understood what this song was about and watching this video, I think I'm even more confused as to what the song is about.
OK there's overwhelming evidence that this music video is what inspired the Andrew Lloyd Weber production two years after it became a hit, although Andrew wisely decided to not make the romance between his two leads as creepy as it is in this video which I feel was for the best. There's also the aesthetics of this video, it's supposed to be a post-apocalyptic New York city but comes off as a cheap studio set complete with creepy back up dancers that the Phantom likes to surround himself with.
Was this meant to be the pitch for a TV show that New order was meant to star in? I'm sure why as the song has nothing to do with anything that can be explored in a kid friendly TV program. Even so, this has to be one of the worst pitches I've ever seen as it features the band in bizarre costumes smacking each other and bouncing on random objects, it also has someone doing sign language in what appears to be a punching bag which I never understood the purpose of.
Let it be clear that this isn't on here because the members are in drag, just because MTV was homophobic back in the day doesn't mean I have any tolerance for this video being bad because they want to cross dress. No this is on here because of the instrumental breakdown as Freddie wants to copy the style and grace that Kate Bush brought to her filmography only for it to fall flat here.
Well, this seems to only exist to offend bible bashers, not least because we have Robert Palmer depicted as a priest in this song about how people like raunchy sex when the song was initially released. There are also the rather stilted animations of the stick figure drawings which come complete with a crude but accurate depiction of the female anatomy, how this wasn't banned on TV is beyond me.
I don't think I've seen a music video be as desperate as this one is for promoting a dance the musicians came up with, the TV performance is fine and dandy but having the backup dancers pose as regular people doing the dance in addition to them being dressed up as troglodytes is a bit too much for me.
There are so many styles in this video that I don't know where to even begin. I guess there's the opening where the patrons at the diner give off the creepiest expressions, there's also the animated chase sequence with some of the worst animation I've seen in a music video. Then there's the final stretch of Cyndi performing at some vaudeville show that seems out of place with the rest of the video.
OK Sesame Street called guys; they say they want you to stop using their style when it comes to this video about winning back the person you wronged in your relationship. I'm not what's worse, the seals singing backup vocals or the strange stop motion involving the two men on the track.
I wasn't expecting to put a video from this guy on the list of the weirdest music videos to make it big in Australia, however I never understood this song's fascination with the Popeye franchise as we have extras dressed up as the characters from the comic strip dancing to his final hit single in most parts of the world.
If I were to rank these videos based on how bizarre they are, this would be right at the top as it blows my mind that Mel Brooks was able to get away with these visuals back in the day when shows like Hogan's heroes and 'Allo 'Allo were getting criticised by the Jewish community for trying to make the events of World War II funny. There's also him sexualising the female nazis in this video, that would've gone down poorly in Jewish communities as well.
Yep, that codpiece is what earned this video a spot on this list, well that and the fact that it's never explained why Cameo is being cancelled throughout the video's runtime. There's also a creepy scene where one of the cops' strips during the instrumental breakdown, I know the music won him over but it's still highly inappropriate to show.
I never understood the premise of this video, is Nik Kershaw supposed to be an alien trying to understand our human race? Why is his suit showing footage of golden age films? Also is that a spacesuit that can disguise itself as a regular business suit? Why does he disappear at the end?
Mannequins, really? You chose that to represent your debut single about taking chances in a relationship? Somehow this makes the movie Mannequin seem down to earth by comparison, and all this is not helped by the strange editing where the two seem to be fighting each other for screen time.
Was this meant to be the theme to a bad Monty python sketch? I mean props to their shoutout at the comedy legends, but what does this have to do with the lyrics in the song? The sad thing is that "Poison arrow" had a great video depicting the complicated feelings Martin Fry had with his ex in that song, this on the other hand is just a confusing mess.
I know the animation in this video is absolutely terrible, however considering the production values of the live action sections, I think it's safe to say that John K didn't have much to work with on this video. I guess the concept would inspire the creation of Who framed roger rabbit two years later, so it's not the biggest waste of time when it comes to combining animation with live action.
This one's confusing to me, although to be fair the duo seems to be having the time of their lives making this so perhaps this was more of a goof off for them than anything else. Regardless we have Vince playing a mad scientist/possibly Dracula inviting Alison who I think is supposed to be his landlord to his house where he shows her his experiments. I think at some point he turns her into a vampire as she sports fangs at the end.
This one's a bit more straight forward than many of the other entries on this list, I get the point of the visuals as they do live up to the band's wacky nature, but I feel it's more they went overboard with the theme park setting.
If you've ever been to a mental health clinic (I've been to one myself) you'll likely recognise the contraption used in this video as a pin screen which you can play with by making shapes with your hands. Here Midge Ure uses the pin screen to create shapes with his face for reasons I never quite understood, I guess this was an unofficial ad for the contraption even though I've never seen one outside a mental health clinic.
OK Robert, we get that you're a big fan of cats (the animal, maybe not so much the play) but did you really need to emphasise that in the first big hit your band had anywhere in the world? Then again maybe he did as it's not like they had many other hits in their catalogue of otherwise normal videos.
Well, if you thought Jim Carrey's performance as the Riddler was over the top in Batman forever, wait until you watch this video where a Jim Carrey prototype gives an even hammier performance as the Batman villain. The events of the song appear to take place in a showbox he owns which is also strange as it appears to be a prototype to Pee wees playhouse with Nik himself being as confused as I am watching this.
While this isn't as bizarre as their earlier entry on this list, I still never understood why the band felt the need to have the video for this song be in what appears to be an art studio with images of golden age films spliced in throughout its running time. You can't even say it's because it matches the lyrics as I don't think that's what the band meant by having a freeze frame, although I could be wrong.
No comments:
Post a Comment