Wednesday, July 5, 2023

Madonna songs ranked


This is another subjective list of mine, although in this case it's due to me ranking all of Madonna's hit singles given that A: I'm a huge fan of the queen of pop and B: how diverse many of her songs are throughout her career. Suffice to say that this list is my personal opinion of her music and as such shouldn't be taken with any form of authority besides maybe that of a fan exploring what they like about her songs.

Well, there had to be something that sucked about A league of their own, granted to do feel the melody is really pretty on this track, however Madonna's checked out vocals are at their worst on here and it just feels like a drag. No wonder this wasn't nominated for an Oscar (although that might be due to Aladdin and the Bodyguard sweeping the nominations) despite this being a Billboard chart topper.

A trend that Madonna picked up in the 90's was how she would over sing on her ballads, to me it sounded like she was yawning half of the time which didn't do much to invest me into these tracks. This is one of the more egregious examples of this phenomenon hence why I'm not a fan of it.

This is where Madonna's over singing is at its most pronounced as it really does seem like she's yawning on this track rather than giving it the subdue performance that the lyrics beg for, I'm still convinced this would've been long forgotten were it not for its usage in F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the record.

Well at least this cover has a beat to it unlike her previous three entries, still the fact that Madonna chose to cover one of the most culturally significant songs of all time for a film as offensive as The next best thing is (and not for its depiction of the LGBT community which strangely wasn't offensive) is about the most tone-deaf thing Madonna could've done at this point in her career.

I know that on a technical level this is an outstanding ballad, however I've never been that big on the original and I don't listen to Madonna's music for technical excellence. I won't put it last because it deserves so much better than being outranked by the dreck we've looked at so far on this list.

Yeah, the lyrics aren't going to win Madonna any feminism awards anytime soon, however there's no denying this is an otherwise fantastic vaudeville track from the queen of pop that perfectly fits in with the context of the film. For what it's worth, Madonna's character Breathless Mahoney is a femme fatale so even in the film, she was only pretending to be a sex diva longing for the mistreatment of a man.

Sure it's far from the worst song in her catalogue, however this was made to be a sexually provocative track more than anything which means it doesn't have the same universal appeal as her more definitive classic. Even so it's still catchy and I'm sure people still find it titillating to this day.

I always felt this song was over hated, although that might be my bias towards it and its video as I remember both of them being the coolest thing back in the day. I think people's hatred for this theme has less to do with the song itself and more to do with Madonna's overall music style at the time which people retroactively don't like.

This had to be bundled with "Into the groove" in order for it to be a success for Madonna in certain parts of the world, I can see why as it's one of her more cloying tracks and if there's a mode from Madonna, I'm not a big fan of, it's whenever she feels the need to be cloy in her music.

This is another ballad from Madonna I feel is a bit too cloying to be among my favourites from her, don't get me wrong it's catchy, but it's not among my favourites as is the case for many of her fans.

Of all the songs from Madonna's career I find to be a bit cloying, this is my favourite as she at least manages to display her vocal talents which she once had. It's true, she was able to hit those high notes with minimal effort back in the day, although she's since lost that ability due to her relying on studio trickery to hit those notes for her.

This is sort of cheating as Madonna is merely the featured artist on this track and she doesn't really add much to the song all things considered, however I'm sure I'll get a few "why didn't you include this" comments if I don't have it on here so here we go. It's a song that exists more for the publicity of the album it came from, however there have been worse songs in both artists careers in my opinion.

I know that this song can feel annoying if you don't realise it's meant to be satire of the rich and famous (not helped by Madonna herself becoming everything she criticises in this song over the years) however I do get the joke and find myself enjoying this for what it is more than I care to admit.

This is the most recent song to appear on this list, suffice to say that Madonna will always have a chance to make a song I like so long as she continues to make music (even if nothing she's released since this is anything I like.) Here we have an environmental track about how she and Justin Timberlake are going to save the world, sure it's narcissistic, but the chemistry they have is undeniable and for a good cause.

While this is a good choice for the lead single to Ray of light, I feel that the album had better options including its title track. Admittedly I feel the album is best enjoyed from start to finish rather than for its individual singles which is a rare phenomenon in Madonna's catalogue.

I'm not the biggest fan of Madonna's ballads for the most part, however when she gets it right like she does on this sole ballad on her Erotica album, you can rest assure that I'll be revisiting it again and again.

As a song, I think this is excellent much like 90% of the entries on this list, as a single however, it feels a bit weird as do all of the tracks from Confessions on a dance floor save for the lead single which at least had a clear end point to justify it as the single.

This is one of the more cloying songs from Madonna's catalogue, although there's no denying that it's a ton of fun to sing the lyrics over karaoke which makes this a huge guilty pleasure for anyone who isn't a diehard fan of the queen of pop.

I know Madonna doesn't have many fond memories during the production of the film of the same name (or indeed during this phase of her life in general) however the Latin flavoured production combined with the lyrics has always been a huge draw for me and I'm sure audiences of the day. It was a huge hit back in the day and one I hope one day she's come around on.

It takes a while to get into this track as I can admit that I didn't like this at first, however once you do, you'll find a highly sexy track from one of the most beautiful women in the world that does so much more than shock the prudes in the audience. As an extra fun fact, this was written by Lenny Kravitz to give it that extra layer of seductiveness.

I've got to hand it to Madonna, she makes for a surprisingly good RNB singer as evidence of her lead single to her album Bedtime stories. The groove on here is slick and works wonders with her more seductive voice, I guess this could've also been on her previous album Erotica with how titillating she is on here.

Guys I know this is a classic and believe me I do love this Latin flavoured track from Madonna, I just don't think it's among her best which is why it isn't any higher on this list. That said this is a compelling tribute to her Hispanic heritage as she incorporates a Spanish guitar and Spanish lyrics throughout the track that helps it stand out from all of the synth tracks from when it was released.

I honestly don't get people, sure this is an Avant Garde track from the queen of pop, but I've loved this song since the day I first heard it back in 2000 and no amount of internet discourse is going to diminish that love I have for this track.

This was the song that opened up the film Who's that girl, it's one of her catchier numbers and the cartoon it soundtracks proved to be more entertaining than the movie itself which seems to be little more than Madonna screaming for an hour and a half. It's a song that had more effort put into it than anything involved with the movie it was made for.

This is an example of a ballad done right from Madonna, I really do feel invested in the relationship that she paints out in this song thanks to her tender vocals as well as the production being catchy whilst still being a ballad. I have no idea how this works for the film it's written for but I'm sure it's an effective scene it's used in.

Simplicity can often go a long way in having a song be great, this song is the first to feature Madonna playing the guitar (she was previously a drummer before she became the queen of pop) which shows that while it's clear she was just starting out, she picked a catchy guitar lick to build the song upon which I and many others enjoy to this day.

One of the rawer performances that Madonna gives on record, here we have a ballad written for a long forgotten 80's flick no one remembers that regardless allowed this song to top the charts worldwide for her. This ballad likely led to the creative direction of her next album which she dedicated to her then husband Sean Penn.

This was the song that began it all for the queen of pop, although it needed two attempts to make it big in Australia considering it was a huge flop for her in her native America. Most people likely won't realise this is her debut single, although it's a strong start to her career given how she was "burning up" for the love of her life on this track.

This feels like it belongs on Ray of light, although it was actually written for the second Austin Powers flick for a scene that works remarkably well with the song in question. While the song is fantastic, I can't deny that part of my love for it comes from the video where she's shaking her groove thing to mini me in a 60's themed club.

Well, "Gimme gimme gimme" is one of my favourite songs from Abba, so naturally this lead single to Confessions on a dance floor would be among my favourites from the queen of pop given how it opens up an album that's meant to be one long track as opposed to individual songs. The alarm clock at the end of the track is the perfect way to end the song, which makes it the best single from the album by default.

This one took a while for me to fall in love with as my introduction to it (as with many of these songs) was on the Immaculate collection where it succeeded "Into the groove" on the album. Fortunately, I grew to love this haunting ballad that was written for her (then) husband's film At close range, it's a bit depressing if you're not in the right mood but it really speaks to you if you are.

I'm raking this song based on the live version given how I much prefer that over the album version which I feel is a bit too cloying even on the album. The live version is a more rock-oriented track as opposed to the album version which is pop and also doesn't have as many lyrics in the outro as the live version does. She's also less shrill on the live version than she is on the album version for some reason.

We're getting closer to the top of this list, so expect to see some surprises such as this title track from Ray of light not appearing any higher on here. It's a song that's both catchy as hell as well as her exploring her newfound spiritualism following a decade of her being a hardcore atheist. She's not religious by any means, but she obviously needed some comfort in this world which she found here.

A song that advocates for a teenage girl to decide whether or not she wants to keep her child after getting knocked up, while I can comfortably say that I will never find myself in the situation painted out by the lyrics, I do sympathise with everyone who has found themselves in this situation and have done for most of my life given how I've been listening to and loving this track since I was a very young child.

Well, this is the song that people accuse Lady Gaga of stealing from, although to be fair it's more the album version as there's different versions of this track depending on what we're looking at. For the sake of my sanity, I've gone with the single version as that's the one that most people would've heard of, although special mention goes to the album version for its bombastic production and the Immaculate collection version which also has slick production.

Admittedly most of Madonna's music doesn't require you to think that hard about it, however this title track from her fourth album is the rare exception to that rule as it opens up and album that's all about exploring her faith in religion only to conclude that she no longer has that faith. It's a song that a fellow Christian turned atheist can fully relate to.

Few artists are able to get it right with their earliest work, so it gives me great pleasure to rank this holiday classic from the queen of pop as one of her best songs as it's not only catchy, but also proof that at least once upon a time she had an amazing voice as there's no vocal filters on this track like there are with most of her other songs throughout her career.

This is one of my favourite songs from Madonna purely due to how much shameless fun it is, it's catchy as hell as well as it having a theme of exploring the unknown in a relationship. It was the highlight from her Erotica album for me and it appears to be well remembered by her fanbase even to this day.

You better believe that a dance craze is among my favourite songs to come from Madonna's catalogue, from the various shout outs to Hollywood legends she gives to the iconic line "strike a pose," this is a Madonna track that will live on in pop culture long after Madonna's relevancy dies out.

I bet you weren't expecting to see this so high on the list, indeed Madonna's love letter to the Mer people of the day (I still can't get over the music video) proved to be more compelling to me than most of her other ballads combined due to how in love she sounds on the track. It's also catchy as hell thanks to the laid-back production allowing the ambience to carry her passionate vocals throughout its runtime.

This is easily the best song Madonna has ever released, it's well performed, tells a heartwarming tale about how she's not going to be alone while she's dancing and it's just catchy as hell to boot. One of these days I'll have to watch Desperately seeking Susan to see how this film fits into the story because I get the feeling it's the only reason why it was a critical and commercial success back in the day.

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